This is Why I hate Bunnies

       So among the ever growing list of  animals i hate bunny rabbits are at the very top. Let me explain, as senior in High School we had to get 40 service hours. I got most of my hours at the Humane Society.

     Someone within the humane society informed me if that if I was looking for extra hours I should apply to the rabbit socialization. When I heard about this program I immediately signed up thinking I'd just get to play with cuddly, fluffy bunnies all day. This is how I pictured rabbit socialization in my mind.

                                    

     However the humane society rabbits weren't your run of the mill cute, cuddly bunnies. I was told that rabbits as they receive less and less attention from people they become feral, territorial, DEMONIC.  These bunnies were criminally insane, socially maladjusted satan bunnies.

                                      

     Which is why I got so excited when I heard there was a new drop off. This bunny's name was Benny.   He was everything a bunny should be, cute, cuddly and friendly.

                                              

     After Benny arrived I spent lots of time with him.  This was mostly because I enjoyed my sessions with Benny much more than the evil rabbits which would constantly try to attack me.  In fact the other rabbits attitudes, which were pathologically unfriendly to say the least,  led me to be extra trusting of Benny.

                                 

     I became to trusting though.  I began to think of Benny as a normal bunny instead of a crazy bunny in a crazy bunny asylum.  I started letting him crawl on my and one day let him sleep on my lap.  It was on that day I paid for my inattention.  I had Benny on my lap, and began a phone conversation with my friend Skipper, thinking I could trust Benny.

                                             

     This was the opportunity Benny had been looking for. I was vulnerable and not paying attention, and Benny, like the other rabbits, was out for blood. I was about to be his first victim.  I had fallen for his clever ruse , and at that moment Benny showed his true colors.  He leaned over and bit me. He bit through my jeans, and through my boxers and my zipper. That evil satan-spawn rabbit bit me right on the dick. As i sat there feeling tremendous pain and betrayal I knew I needed to get off the phone and get this rabbit off my dick.  I think my exact words to Skipper were "AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaagh!..OMIGOD.. OMIGOD..I've gotta go, NOW...AAaahhh! M*ther F*cker!!..OMIGOD..My dick is Bleeding **Click**".

                                        

     I ran around frantically after that, the rabbit dangling from my junk like a deranged, growling Prince Albert. Finally that little psychopath let go. After my experience i was left scarred both mentally and physically, and I WILL NEVER TRUST A BUNNY AGAIN!!!

                                      
                                                                       EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                       
Jared