Job Number One: Luigi's Pizza Guy
As Juno Mcguff once said " WOAH! Dream Big!" That statement is fully encompassing of my dream to be a pizza guy. When I was a little boy I loved Luigi's pizza. It was like my favorite food in the world. Still Probably is. So I thought to myself if I work at this pizza place as a delivery driver then I will of course be able to eat all of the pizza I want. I mean when your like 4 or 5 pizza man seems like such a cool job. You get to be around yummy food. YOU GET TO DRIVE A CAR! It just seems like so much awesomeness. You, know especially if you work for big sausage pizza lol.. I ended up deciding against my dream to work at Dairy Queen. That turned out to be a losing decision.
Here's a video that may inspire you to be a pizza guy
Or to punch the pizza delivery guy...it's whatever...
Job Number 2: Pokemon Master
After I grew up a little more I decided I should be a Pokemon master instead. I mean it's clearly the best career choice one can make. I'm planning on eventually changing my major to Pokemon training actually. I actually achieved my goal. I mean i caught all of the Pokemon. UNTIL THOSE BASTARDS MADE LIKE A BUHZILLION MORE!! I also won all of the badges! Except now there's like a million more badges and ribbons, and symbols and medals. It's too much. Still i won't pretend I'm still not excited about the game. I mean when a new game comes out (and it just did Shane bought it for me) I'm all like:
Currrent Goal:
My current goal is to become a super awesome psychologist. I'm actually really good at getting into peoples heads, and since I am crazy, and have a crazy family the subject matter is always relevant. I think one day I'll be the coolest psychologist ever. I'm gonna become a prison psychologist then a clinical psychologist. I'll get to help crazy people and probably eventually go crazy myself. I even have a psychiatrist that I want to be like
Her name's Dr. Harleen Quinzel also called Harley Quinn.
She's an insane ex-psychiatrist who develops sever hybristolphilia (obsession with dangerous people) and joined her boyfriend the Joker in becoming a super villain. And I feel that becoming a clown themed super villain is ultimately the long term goal of all psycholologists.
Peace people. Sorry this is such a half assed post I'll put more work into them after spring break
Jared
Jared you are crazy but I love your rationale behind your current career goal. I'm sure you will make a great psychologist.
ReplyDeleteAlthough personally I am not disappointed that there wasn't any gay porn in this post, I have recently learned that women often credit watching gay porn as a way of eductating themselves further in the art of knob-slobbing.
PS: I'm in the Thank Q for Common Sense Blogging Tournament and would appreciate your vote. There is a link on my blog. Thanks!
Glad to have you back Jared and I enjoyed this one. Have an awesome day.
ReplyDeleteYay Jared's back *happy dance
ReplyDeleteso are you all getting drunk and acting crazy with spring break? because I have been told thats what happens
Harley Quinn is one of my favorite characters ever =) The intelligence and madness shouldn't be so appealing, but it is.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you since I had just started following you when you got busy. I loved this post about the psychologist. When I was younger I wanted to become a forensic psychologist and get in the minds of serial killers. My husband used to tell me that it takes a sick mind to do that! THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT!!! I would have been a great one. Good luck on becoming like your dream Harley Queen.
ReplyDeleteWell if you have a crazy family then that should help you spot crazy people easily and help them with their crazy.
ReplyDeletelove this great job choices and welcome back
ReplyDeleteGreat post Jared, when I was younger I wanted to be a bin man, I think you guys in America call them garbage disposal people, my parents say it's because I thought they only worked one day a week, which was a Monday when they came by my house, who knew?
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ReplyDeleteHarleen Quinzel, really? Did she become a super villain because of her shit name?
ReplyDeleteHarleen gives me clown nightmares.
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