For summary let me just say that I as a 2nd grader had just started Catholic school. My only friend I knew from my previous experiences was quiet little Tommy. However, due to what I would like to call a simple misunderstanding, we quickly grew apart.
Let me begin by saying that even as a small child I was aware that I was a tad different than other children, in that I found other peoples confusion and or misery extremely amusing, still do.
So the story goes like this:
Tommy and I rode the bus home together.
Tommy said a swear word, because I goaded him into doing it. Then because I was a punk bitch, I told him I was going to tell on him for swearing. His reaction was priceless, and was all the fuel I needed to take this to the next level.
At this point I, as a 2nd grader, black mailed Tommy and, in what is possibly the most gigantic slap to the face Rosa Parks ever experienced, enslaved a child on a bus.
I took my new found role very seriously
Tommy and I had different feelings about the situation. I thought it was the best thing ever, and since I was having fun, in my mind, it must have meant Tommy was having fun as well. This was not the case.
Then came a turn for the worst. My mom got a call from Tommy's mom one night after dinner. My mom then, upon realizing that her 8 year old son had taken possession of other children, kind of overreacted.
My parents bot disciplined me. In addition my teacher found out and had a talk with me about how making your classmates into little indentured servants via blackmail might be viewed as a sin and thus was not Christian. I also had to apologize to Tommy, if I recall the apology was very brief and half hearted. I learned two very important things that day
#1) It is never okay to enslave White, Christian people, or really any White people unless they're jews.
#2) Getting caught is unacceptable and will lead to a punishment, so make sure you don't get caught or that the things you are doing are totally worth it.
Enslaving Tommy TOTALLY WORTH IT! I'm not saying it was nice, or right but I am saying that at an age where most people didn't even own a hamster I for a short period owned another human being, and in my book that's pretty awesome.
To learn more about owning human beings go to your local library...Once you're there wait for the inevitable end of the evening rush of homeless people coming in before close to use the bathroom and check there facebooks. Then just take one with you....It's not like they have anywhere to be + Who's going to miss them anyway.
SLAVERY: A very wrong, empowering and productive use of people throughout history which has been the driving force behind having nice things since, pretty much the dawn of time. Here's a song about it!
And here, all the way from uncyclopedia is there "benefits to implementing slavery"
Some advantages of slavery
- No backchat
- Lower crime rates
- Country saves money on welfare
- Free exercise
- Don't have to go to college - saves money on tuition
- Great for community service
- Cant Be Racist
- No elections
- Fun
- You get free guns
- Don't have to write a fucking resume
- Looks good on a resume when you actually get a job
- Motivational benefits with the whip
- Don't have to search 20 years for a job
- Great music being created while working
- No unemployment
- More time for social experiences
- Ape population is usually accounted for in full
- The future of today's cotton industry
- A sizeable 401K portfolio
- Discovering just how many of your relatives can fit in a confined area meant for no more than three bags of flour
- Free healthcare, including removal of 'unnecessary' feet
- Random "Exotic Back Massages"
- Being able to say that you work harder than anyone else you know.
for the rest of uncyclopedias webpage on slavery click this
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Slavery ...well it won't turn blue.so just copy and paste it I guess.
LATER PEOPS..
PS REMEMBER TO FOLLOW!
Well your Catholic school training obviously paid off because you did your research well. Haha, this was funny. Boys will be boys.
ReplyDeleteHaving been married once, I can slavery is no fun. Yes I was a slave.
ReplyDeleteomg that what a great story see i learned years ago not to enslave other children but to just torture and enslave younger siblings they totally work well for all situations..
ReplyDelete